For the record, I'm not the one supposed to be in charge nor am I second in command.

Today was the first time in 8 or so years I didn’t take over the weekly morning meeting. I just let everybody talk about their issues and waited for our venerable leader, Glynda, to come up with the solutions I always offer.

I wish I could have taken pictures of everybody’s reactions! They kept looking to me and I had steepled my hands and placed them in front of my mouth to imply I was deep in thought, trying to find a solution for their dilemmas. When Glynda realized I wasn’t offering up any wisdom nuggets, she clumsily tried, bless her dumb little heart, but the staff would look at her and then look at me as if to say “really?” but I would just nod along like Glynda’s ideas were the best thing I’d ever heard! No more raising yourself up by standing on my shoulders you mental midget!

Okay, I know I’m beginning to sound like that dude from “The Shining”.

My coworker Milton has been walking around all week thinking she’s special because she keeps getting shocked by objects around the office. No, Milton, you are not the only precious being endowed with special powers to conduct tiny charges of electricity. It wouldn’t bother me so much if not for her constant updates.

“Ooh! There I go again shocking the printer!’

“I just shocked the chair!”

“I barely touched the door jab and I shocked it!”

SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!

Things I did today to reach my goals:

Healthy eating: Breakfast, banana. Lunch, ratatoullie. Dinner, homemade beef stew with french baguette. Snack, granola bar, 2 cuties.

Activity: Just some regular cleaning and cooking. I did do more walking around the office looking for charts and things like that.

New Job: Did some online research to see if there was anything interesting. Nothing yet.

Spending: I bought nothing! Although, it turns out I had bought a metal mannequin thing I had forgotten all about since I had ordered it a long time ago. I came home to find a box on my front stoop and was very confused but also a little afraid because I had just read this article about people mailing glitter to their enemies. I thought maybe somebody had sent me a box full of dust bunnies so I was very hesitant to open it but then I was pleasantly surprised.